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Upon first glance at the BlackBerry Pearl, one might thing it’s a bit…emasculating. After all, its size just doesn’t hold up to the bulkier 88xx, 87xx, or even the Curve. You don’t get a full QWERTY keyboard, which is a manly feature to have. You get a tiny screen, which just isn’t suitable for a man’s eyes. While some might call into question a male Pearl user’s manhood, we at BBGeeks think you can still be a man’s man. Here are a few good reasons why.

Normally we’d save the disclaimer for later, but just to be certain, this post is in jest. We do not think that you’re less of a man for having a BlackBerry Pearl, nor do we look down upon women for using it. In fact, I know more men than women who own a Pearl. Just so we’re clear on this.

1. Real men have big fingers

On some Friday nights I head to a local bar where I meet up with a group of friends and acquaintances. Our jobs have nothing in common, yet we all use BlackBerry devices. Most of us have the Cuve, but a few of the guys have the Pearl. A while back I asked one of them why he had the Pearl instead of the much cooler, and full-QWERTY, Curve. His answer: “Man, my fingers are way too big for that. I always hit two or three letters every time I hit a key.” This, of course, made me think of a scene from The Simpsons (really, though, everything makes me think of a scene from The Simpsons):

The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.

Awesomely enough, you can use this as your YouMail greeting. Or you can just listen to the audio.

So if men have big fingers, and big fingers make typing on a full-QWERTY tough, I suppose you’re still a man if you opt for the bigger keys of the Pearl.

2. Real men don’t carry purses

Let’s face it: BlackBerry devices are bulky. I’ve said before that I’ve always been the type of guy to carry my phone in my pocket, size be damned. The problem is that my BlackBerry is considerably wider and taller than my previous consumer cell phones, meaning it creates a bulge on my hip. (It was a ton worse when I carried an 8830 encased with an OtterBox in my pocket.) It doesn’t bother me, but I know it bothers plenty of people.

The obvious solution is to place the device in a bag. Problem is, many of us men opt not to carry a bag with us everywhere. Hey, it’s unmanly to be caught with a murse, far more unmanly than being caught with a Pearl. This comes down to the lesser of two emasculating factors. Murse or Pearl? The choice is obvious. Go with the Pearl. At least it has some redeeming qualities. And the bulge on your hip won’t look like as big a tumor.

3. Real men know a bargain when they see one

BlackBerry devices can run pretty expensive. When I got an 8830 from Verizon over a year ago it cost $350 before rebate. The Bold cost $300; the Storm $250. In these rough economic times (this has to be close to the billionth time that exact phrase has appeared on the Internet), investing that much money into an electronic device, no matter how useful and practical, might not be the best decision. Real men recognize this, and that’s why they might opt for the BlackBerry Pearl.

Did you know that Verizon Wireless is giving away free Pearls from now through February 16? Yeah, pretty huge. You still have to sign a two-year contract, but that’s pretty much true for all subsidized BlackBerry purchases. The device, though, won’t cost you a dime. So what’ll it be? Storm for $200 (after rebate), or Pearl for free? The macho thing would be to get the Storm, but real men need not be macho. They need only be real men, and real men know a bargain. Free is greater than not-free.

4. Real men know that a BlackBerry is a BlackBerry is a BlackBerry

Beyond the truncated keyboard and the smaller display, what’s the real difference between a Pearl and any other BlackBerry 8000 series model? They all run the same operating systems. They all run the same, or most of the same, applications. They all have multimedia capabilities. They all feature RIM’s signature push email. They all hook up to BlackBerry Internet Service or a BlackBerry Enterprise Server. In the end, what’s the difference?

From a manly standpoint, the Pearl might look “girly.” I can totally see that. It’s a smaller version of a big device, and in a man’s world bigger is better. That’s only a cosmetic difference, though, beyond the screen and keyboard. Real men don’t do things based on cosmetics. They do things based on utility. The Pearl is just as utilitarian as its counterparts. So why not get one?

5. Real men are comfortable with their size

Ok, not much explanation for this double-entendre. Real men don’t care what you or anyone else thinks. A real man can carry around a pink BlackBerry Pearl and still be comfortable with it. The BlackBerry does not make the man; the man makes the BlackBerry.

Again, please understand that this is a post in jest. If you don’t find it funny, sorry. Most of my friends don’t think I’m funny either, if that makes you feel any better.

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